27 July 2006

An Odd End, A Crest on Waters

I tend to think more of myself than I think of God's world. I'm really just an odd end. I'm only a nook. Simply a cranny. But I tend to show off my bells and whistles. So it made me feel good when the residents assistant of C dormitory, who was Hulk-size, used to call me "big JW". I was finally noticed! It was about that time I started playing my songs for people. I don't know what purpose my songs and stories serve except to make people feel bigger. Ideally, that's great; but apparently, according to my habits, making people feel bigger isn't always priority. What's usually considered priority is what makes *me* feel bigger.

I always wanted to be a big person to whom people would say, "Hey, we need you to help us pick up this piano [or cow] and put it in the back of this truck because you're big and strong!" But when I was a little student an innocent teacher told me, "Jason, you're skinny!" In effect, I realized I wasn't considered *big*. Despite my teacher's innocence, I've been stained by the *skinny* statement. So, you might see me doing and writing things to *look* *big* in your- รง ∂,∂ -eyes even though I really just want to present life the way it is and me the way I am.

I intend to think outloud on this blog, not as much about myself as about God's world. You'll get a sense of the everyday people I've got my eye on and what their hands and their heads are doing and thinking. You'll see some of the crooked things I notice, and some of the generosities touched. You'll get some of my family things and signs of things that I love and things that bug me, too. I intend to present things as they are, so correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not as big as I am.

I hope you see the Truth,
At work within it all.
Bigger and more generous than me or you.
We're crests on the waters,
Some big, mostly small,
And he's the entire ocean,
Absolutely.
All in all.

-bigJW-

6 comments:

Shawn Griffith said...

Very insightful JW. I pray that we can all stand and look at ourselves in light of how big and awesome God is. Thanks for you words, they mean a ton to me, especially after our trip.

Blessings

Noel Green said...

Hey Jason, I'm the second person to post on your new blog! Yay! That makes ME feel big! :)

Actually it's funny because I was mad when I got "big" near the end of high school. I always wanted to be small... short of stature, and all that jazz. Someone that would be called on to play the "kid" in the play, or to "crawl in there and get that for us." Someone who had to carry a ladder in their car.

I enjoy being big now... but it took me many years to get "into" it.

I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side... and if you'll help me move this cow I'll show you.

P.S. Did you write the little poem? It's really good!

Daniel said...

Jason,
Thanks for the thoughts. Look forward to hearing about your trip.

Jason said...

Shawn, Noel, and Daniel-

Great to get your comments! It was big of you.

Noel,

I loved hearing about your desire to "crawl" and carry a ladder. That's funny. And thanks for the offer to move the cow. You know I'd love to help with that.

It's kind of a cheezy poem, I guess, but I'll claim it.

jw

Jason said...

I read this after your 4th post, but I really like it. I think I'll really enjoy reading your blog, it makes me want to blog more too.

Jason said...

Thanks, Jason! You really made me want to start this blog.