Without a Camera

Dear God,

Thank you for, in all your power and wisdom, allowing me to leave my digital video camera on the train Saturday.

Actually, I was depressed Saturday night because I just felt so small and worthless. But Sunday was a new day and I began learning to be thankful. Thanks for Sunday. The self-absorbed depression turned more into humility and joy. I'm able to laugh at myself and because of the irony of winning something through losing.

And thank you for letting me be absent-minded for that brief second on the train. I don't blame you for not reminding me or intervening. I don't blame you as if you intervened to make me forget the camera. I'm just saying I attribute the good that came out of it to you and your generosity.

I'm thankful because several times in the last few days I wanted to take some video of Ella being amazing. I said to myself, "Oh, I can't take a video. I'll have to just watch her and be with her now." I paid extra close attention to her and tried to memorize her movements and faces and sounds. I felt especially connected to her and her dad.

I'm thankful because I experienced Nicole's forgiveness. You know how she responded to my absent-mindedness. The weight of losing such a valuable record of important moments in our lives and the technological ability to record many more memories all makes the depth of her forgiveness more encouraging.

I'm thankful because I also realize the blessing it is to record image and video of people and things. It seems to say, The person herein pictured is important and significant in this very moment and should be remembered. I'm thankful that I've been able to take so much video and so many pictures of Ella and Nicole and other people we love and scenes of God's creation we care about.

What a blessing, God, to have a camera and not to have a camera! You certainly do send both rain and sunshine to the just and the unjust. Whether I'm at my best or worst, you're patient and eager enough to wait for me to become a blessing.

And thank you for the Mullinses' camera and generosity so we could have afternoon tea with them and have Ella's nine-month old picture taken.

Please let us have the camera again if that's your will.

Let all my life be all yours. Amen.

The Rescue

To save my own child I would do anything no matter the cost. To save other children, even if it meant giving up a bit of comfort, I'm not sure I would do it so eagerly, especially when there's no guarantee the children will actually be rescued. Would I be giving up some comfort for nothing? I don't see any easy options for doing any great things.

Ignore God: the domino effect

Shouldn’t I feel sorry for this important city, Nineveh? It has more than 120,000 people in it as well as many animals. These people couldn’t tell their right hand from their left. -Jonah 4:11 GW

A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal, But {even} the compassion of the wicked is cruel. -Proverbs 12:10 NAS

Or, The righteous know the needs of their animals, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel. -Proverbs 12:10 NRSV

. . . 1 There is no faithfulness or loyalty, and no knowledge of God in the land. 2 Swearing, lying, and murder, and stealing and adultery break out; bloodshed follows bloodshed. 3 Therefore the land mourns, and all who live in it languish; together with the wild animals and the birds of the air, even the fish of the sea are perishing. -Hosea 4:1-3 NRSV

19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God;
20 for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope
21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.
22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now;
23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. -Romans 8:19-23

Happy Birthday to me! 34 years old and looking forward to the redemption of my body!

Happy Earth Day, too! God, set Earth free from its bondage to decay and let Earth see your children when they're revealed. Amen.

The Kingdom of God is Like . . . Soap

Ancient Momma's Poem

I thought I'd share an ancient poem that has meant a lot to me since that week we found out we we're having a girl and we had a lot of anxiety about the placenta previa and so on.

Ella's born now. No more previa and she's not yet weaned. We still have pressures and ambitions from without and from within . . . This poem helps me to find calm:

Before the Lord
I'm not proud in passions or logic
I don't occupy my self with things too great and too marvelous for me
But I've calmed and quieted my soul
like a mother calms her weaned child
My soul is like the weaned child that is with me
Hoping in the Lord

Psalm 131 with some poetic license.

Chaste Good Friday

The preacher said, "Drip, drip, drip, . . . our innocent Savior's blood from the horrible crown of thorns . . . every one our sins bringing lash after lash of the whips made of bones and sharp steel . . . nails driven through bone and flesh . . ."

This is often how I've heard Good Friday told by Christians. It's also a brief sketch of Mel Gibson's the Passion of the Christ. Lots of physical violence and gruesome depictions and descriptions and elaborations of the Son of God's crucifixion.

The Gospel of Mark is different, and I think for a significant reason:

I begin reading about Good Friday in the 14th chapter of Mark and the first time I encounter physical violence against Jesus is verse 65:

Some began to spit on him, to blindfold him, and to strike him, saying to him, "prophesy!" The guards also took him over and beat him.

Then, Mark gives no more attention to physical violence against the Son of God until chapter 15, verse 15:

So Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd released Barabbas for them; and after flogging Jesus, he handed him over to be crucified.

What brevity! In a single sentence Mark says "flogging" and "to be crucified" without gruesome depiction. Then, in 15:17 and 19:

. . . and after twisting some thorns into a crown, they put it on him . . . They struck his head with a reed . . .

Restrained, the violence depictions in Mark are limited to four verses out of about 38 since Jesus' arrest. A "violence" verb list would be:

spit
blindfold
strike
took
beat
after flogging
handed
put
struck
stripped
crucified

Eleven verbs, four of which inherently imply violence, none of which does Mark elaborate. Each time violence comes up, Mark moves on past it.

So what of Good Friday does Mark emphasize and bring out? I think the clue is in 14:51-52 and in the frequent mention of clothes. The closest Mark comes to belaboring violence against the Son is when he says, "they stripped him of the purple cloak . . ." 15:20.

Here is 14:51-52:

A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.

It's a metaphor for the disciples' shame. In fact, the verse just prior says, "All of them deserted him and fled." I think the point is that Jesus suffered the shame his disciples and friends deserved. There are no Jews, Empires, or instruments of torture. Just naked shame.

Listen again at the chasteness and brevity of Mark's crucifixion description:

And they crucified him, and divided his clothes among them, casting lots to decide what each should take. It was nine o'clock in the morning when they crucified him.

Mark has something we've often missed. Or, put another way, we feel like we've got to add so much ornamentation compared to Mark's simple telling.

Perhaps we can learn to tell the Gospel the way Mark does it. What are some ways we can tell the Good News more like Mark does and less like the movies have?

One way I thought of doing this is concentrating on just telling the Easter story instead of emphasizing elaborate explanations and atonement theories (not that they're bad). Perhaps chastity is a powerful seed for conversion we've overlooked in the past.

Reptile or Mammal?

Reptiles are deadly serious.
Mammals are playfully curious.

Sharks, though not reptiles, and dolphins, certainly mammals, demonstrate this well.

Sharks simply swim, kill, copulate, react, and survive.

Dolphins, on the other hand, have a more abundant life. They play, laugh, kill, mate, act, even save humans (although they've also been known to hurt humans). They don't just survive; they really live.

I want to be the mammal. How do I do this?

Copulate or mate?

Be reactive or proactive?

Survive or thrive?

Be cynical or curious?

Withdraw or explore?

Life . . . What It Is!

Life . . . is what it is . . . Life is good, then it's bad, then it's good again . . . Life is just absolutely wonderful and amazing! . . . Now I'm ridiculously hungry! . . . The whole world loves me, doesn't it! . . . Won't you take me out of my car seat so I can play? . . .

No prejudgment . . . No terrible memories rehashed . . . Now is what I have and I'm thankful for it and have decided to eat it and enjoy it . . . I'm free and I can move so I will! . . . What is that? . . . You love me, too, don't you! . . . Good. Now what is that flavor? . . . Why aren't you smiling? . . . Why aren't you picking me up? . . . Can you put me down? I'm in the mood to play . . .

Those are some phrases that I think express the tone of Ella's life as well as some of the sentiment of the book of Ecclesiastes.

Oh, and one more phrase that Ella says quite clearly: LOL.

Press "Play", then press "HQ" to view in High Quality . . .

Everything's Possible w/ training

Everything is Possible - video powered by Metacafe

Today's Journal Entry (w/ a bit o' lyric)

It's killing me to be quiet . . . I've been staying at home with my healing face . . . reading books, reading blogs, cleaning up the place. Mostly taking care of Ella and washing dishes and talking with Nicole. Today, though, I get the stitches out and, supposedly, Dr. M says I can rock climb tonight.

So, tonight while climbing with my partner will be another test of whether I'm a good listener and communicator.

. . .

Stitches out. 10% skin strength in my face wound. Thumbs up for climbing, "Just don't smash your face on the wall." "Okay."

. . .

So, I'm back from climbing and I think I listened well . . . then I stumbled and struggled on the question of "So what do you do?" by the new partner. There are three of us now climbing together Thursday nights. Great time.

. . .

Prayed with Corey via chat for the Ockers of Australia, rednecks of sorts whom, I know, Jesus would love. They have a great sense and practice of EQUITY, RISK-TAKING, TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER, ANTI-HYPOCRISY WHETHER RELIGIOUS OR OTHER, . . . CONFESSION OF PERSONAL FAULTS, NO PRETENTIOUSNESS, NO SHOWING OFF! They sound like I imagine the Twelve.

I end today thanking God for my precious wife and daughter . . . and the new U2 album! Here's a lyric that reminds me of trying to rush prayers to God and God speaking back:

Restart and reboot yourself
You’re free to go
Oh, ohhh
Shout for joy if you get the chance
Password, you, enter here, right now

Oh, ohhh
You know your name so punch it in
Hear me, cease to speak that I may speak
Shush now
Oh, ohhh
Then don’t move or say a thing

Okay, another good lyric:

I can stand up for hope, faith, love
But while I’m getting over certainty
Stop helping God across the road like a little old lady

Week of Meek and a Poem

On Sundays we've simply been reading sections of 1 Thessalonians and making a commitment to make room for God to change certain things in our lives. Last week I determined to work quietly with my hands. That would be my new 'practice', so to speak, not that it was a new thought, just something I'm not normally intentional about.

I called it "the week of meek" so I wouldn't forget to reign in my urge to talk about God and faith ALL day. I learned three things after practicing this attitude among non-Christians for a week:

1) It is a challenge for me to listen and be content with living as a Christian without talking about it A LOT. I tend to be slightly pushy and wordy about my beliefs without listening and getting the vibe of the other person.

2) Hard work is hard work, especially when done quietly. On a scale of 1-10, one being the quietest worker and ten being the most talkative, I believe I'm usually a seven or eight.

3) Sometimes I unintentionally use God, through overt Christian talk, to make my self look righteous, more righteous than I am. Really I've been aware of this habit since the late '90s, but I haven't changed much since then in the area of self-righteousness.

Practicing is hard. It's like training. It reveals weaknesses. But it's good. I realize I need more consistent training. I need to stretch my self further. I'm going to keep this week of meek going a little longer, at this point I'm thinking two more weeks.

Of course, I'm ready to talk about my faith if someone demonstrates curiosity, but when I feel the urge to tell them everything I think I know . . . I'm going to reign the urge in so I can give them an opportunity either to express more curiosity or to express their own beliefs and knowledge.

Since, if you've read this post thus far, you've proven to love this kind of information and you know you're welcome to comment as lengthily as you like, I will share one more thing from the week, a poem that popped into my head late one night, just for my blog readers, if I have any, to enjoy. If you read 1 Thessalonians, the poem should make sense. Anyway, here it is,

Turning from idols to serve the True One
Laboring, started by love
Nursing mother, caring for her own
Overflowing from one to one
Until the Voice and the trumpet call
Then, "Look!" . . .
in the sky!
meet the Son!

Oh, and here's an excellent principle I learned, intellectually, from Dr. Friedman, which I hope will help me keep reigning in my eloquent waxing:

“People cannot hear you unless they are moving toward you, which means that as long as you are in a pursuing or rescuing position, your message will never catch up, no matter how eloquently or repeatedly you articulate your ideas.”

Areas of Spiritual Poverty

One of my professors drew this little diagram back in 1997, I believe. I don't remember what he said, but the image has bothered me ever since . . . in a good way, I think. Recently, I thought of adding the question to ask my self in all honesty. Am I impoverished in each of these three areas? Is it possible to find the sweet spot? Is it even worth asking? Should the words be different, like WAY/TRUTH/LIFE?

God So Loved The . . .

Any comments? Thoughts? I was trying to capture "tax collectors and sinners" with more provocative language. The spider part was partly inspired by some, perhaps faulty, theology by my lovely wife. "God only created spiders after sin and the cursing of the ground." :-)

Religious Practices (Or Practicing Worship)

A couple weeks ago we had a high intensity workout for worship.

Okay, I know that sounds strange if not unscriptural. Let me explain. I believe when Christians get together it should be for the purpose of celebrating what God has done and getting fit for daily tests. For example, to grow able to love our neighbors, we practice loving on each other when we commune together; to become fit enough to consider trials to be pure joy, we each other and carry each other's burdens in church.

So here's what we did a couple Sundays ago just before communion, how we built up an appetite for the Lord's Supper:

Warm-up:
We said to each other, "I don't know what I'm doing, but God loves me anyway."
We discussed, "What is Christ best known for throughout the world?" and basically said, "Love."
We discussed, "What are Christians (we) best known for?" and basically said, "self-righteous."
We said to each other, "Oftentimes, I don't love, but God loves me anyway."

High-intensity workout:
We practiced saying each of Jesus' beattitudes to each other by putting the teaching into a common phrase.
For "Blessed are the poor for theirs is the Kingdom," we said, "I need you."
"Blessed are the mourners for they will be comforted," . . . "I'm sorry." (meaning sorry for our sins)
"Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth," . . . "I respect you." (meaning although I could exert power over you in some way, I choose to respect you)
"Blessed are the ones who hunger and thirst for righteousness . . ." . . . "I want to do what's right, regardless."
"Blessed are the merciful for they will receive mercy," . . . "I have forgiven you already." (this was powerful to hear)
"Blessed are the pure in hearth for they will see God," . . . "I will be honest with you always." (this was particularly hard for me to say)
"Blessed are the peacemakers . . ." . . . "Let me be the first to stop the fighting." (this opened my eyes to my lack of self-regulation when I see the opportunity to win a fight)

Then, at the climax of our workout we remembered Jesus' teaching on LOVE: "A new command I give you: Love one another. This is how the world will know that you are my disciples." So we said to each other, "I will cut you slack because Jesus did me." (since practicing this statement aloud in church, I've said it numerous times during the week in my mind and returned a blessing for a curse)

Cooldown:
We discussed the question "How has God been good to us?" and retold parts of the story of God in Christ.



It seems like church is meant to get us fit for heaven. So I plan to look at it this way from now on. The church should be a blessing to the world. How can we do that without practicing and working out when we get together? How can we really hunger and thirst for the Lord's Supper without doing core Christian practices together? How can we love like Christ without practicing? It won't happen by accident or just wishful thinking.

Australians, Generalizations

Okay, remember the quote I put on here the other day: Rare is the culture in which all or even half of its members follow all of its customs. Family members tend to select from their culture’s repertoire of customs and ceremonies those behaviors that support their own idiosyncratic patterns, whether they are healthy patterns or neurotic, and pay most attention to those values in their tradition that prevent change. Edwin Friedman

So I've generalized four values/customs/behaviors from my impression of Australians, but I'm in no way saying all or even half of the broad Australian culture.

1. Australians work hard. Very hard. And well. Very hard and very well.
2. Australians have holidays well. They know how to spend a good vacation and do so.
3. While drinking tea, coffee, or beer Australians insult each other politely; it makes you feel like "one of the gang".
4. Australians are averse to religious pomp and certainty, but not to good works or spirituality.


I believe all these values are contagious. For example, tonight, we were drinking tea with several Australians and Corey, the American started laughing because a certain brand of Australian tea prints on the boxes: "How an Australians should enjoy a up of tea . . . boil . . . steep . . . drink tea while politely insulting each other." Right-o!

I believe there is nothing particularly good or evil about any one of these [4] characteristics. I think it's by the grace and truth of the Word that these values can be redeemed and saved for God's good pleasure. As I am invited to join into life here, I approach the invitation with thoughts of my redeeming God.

New Creation Sermon

When you look at the world, what do you see? frustration, money, brokenness, pain, suffering, . . .

But I believe God is in the business of new creation.

Galatians 6:12-16

In the Smoky Mountains where plants and trees were torn out in order to put down a winding asphalt road, soon plants and trees will bust through the stony ground. What once was bitumen will soon be lush re-growth and life. Who is behind this?

Genesis 1:2, 7

From everything being one jumbled up mess to being separated into different places and paths, God is the One who creates order from chaos.

Genesis 2:7-8, 15

The first gardener, Adam. The first vocation, blessing the earth. How'd Adam do? sin . . . chaos . . . flood--the separated waters went back to being jumbled up in the middle and destroying everything. Sin leads to chaos in creation. But God made a new world out of the destruction.

So then the second gardener, Noah, planted a vineyard in the new creation.

Genesis 9:20

How'd Noah do? sin . . . chaos . . .

Hosea 4:1-3

No acknowledgement of God . . . leads to bloodshed, etc., . . . leads to fish in the sea and birds of the air dying . . . order returns to chaos . . . what a mess

But there's a new gardener:

John 20:11-15

Jesus is the Cosmic Gardener:

God went to the center of creation, the most broken part, to heal it, to make it new again. He had to be all in all. (Ephesians 1:22-23)

For God to become all in all isn't easy. Bringing order from disorder isn't easy. Bringing life from death isn't natural. Healing creation isn't easy. God had to heal it from the inside out. The Son is the firstborn of all creation. Without him, none of creation can be reborn. (Colossians 1:15)

His healing begins in you:

Philippians 1:6, "I’m convinced that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it through to completion on the day of Christ Jesus."

There are four circles. In which one are you?

1. The world, the cosmos, is all good.
2. All is wrong with the world.
3. Through Jesus, God is redeeming the world, making it new. Jesus is my Savior.
4. God is sending you and me together into the world to be part of its healing, its being created anew, his will done on earth as it is in heaven. Jesus is the Lord of all.

I was in a mall recently, followed the signs to the men's toilets, and found a one stall room occupied and therefore full. I turned to rush to find new signs leading to new toilets. Just as I turned, there was another man going in to the one-stall room. I told him, "There's only one toilet and it's taken." He said, "That is ridiculous!" in a perturbed, frustrated voice. Sufficed to say he beat me to the new toilets. After washing my hands, I was in the fourth circle, so to speak, thankful and ready to do good works. But the man disgruntled at the one stall was drying his hands still with a sourpuss face as if the one-stall situation had ruined the goodness of the new and spacious men's room. He was still stuck in the second circle as if the world were wrong without any hope of redemption.

But I believe God is in the business of new creation. So, whatever truth there is to all four of these circles, I want to be in the fourth circle as much of the time as possible.

Cultural Camouflage

Rare is the culture in which all or even half of its members follow all of its customs. Family members tend to select from their culture’s repertoire of customs and ceremonies those behaviors that support their own idiosyncratic patterns, whether they are healthy patterns or neurotic, and pay most attention to those values in their tradition that prevent change. Edwin Friedman

I must confess that I don't follow all American customs. I've often wondered just how many I do follow. Perhaps like my parents and siblings and church and hometown, though, I selected certain behaviors that suited my own idiosyncratic patterns, good and bad, so I could maintain the emotional processes I was already used to.

Have you ever made generalizations like, "I just don't get along with [those kinds of people]," or "Americans are so loud?" Maybe those statements are appropriate, but to blanket those generalizations on all Americans or on all the people of a particular culture (e.g., Western) or subculture (e.g., church) is ignorant. To say, "I hate Australian culture," is ignorant of the fact that perhaps the Australians with whom I have been acquainted weren't following all or even half of Australia's behaviors.

I'm an American living in Australia, but I'm not defined by my being American. Who or what defines me? Who or what is . . . me? Do I define my self? Or does my self define me? Or does the Creator define me?

What value is it to dialogue with these questions? It's a value to me as I begin a new life in and among various cultures and families. It's important that I don't blame God when it is I who is slack in my responsibilities. It's important that I don't believe in cultural superiority. Culture is neither determining or defining. It simply brings to light society, communities, families, and selves. Culture is neither good nor evil. As Paul put it, "Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision is anything; what matters is new creation." That is the rule.

1. I will try not to be rash about applying generalizations to individuals based on my impression of generic Australian culture.
2. I will not apply my experience with specific individuals to all Australians.
3. I will seek to find new creation within people no matter what impression of their culture or subculture's stain.
4. I will take responsibility for my behavior--it's not because of my culture or subculture, but because I have succeed or failed in taking steps to follow Jesus whom I regard as my Savior and Lord.

Three Pictures

Ella with two suiters, Joshua and Jonas.
Ella with "Aunt" Brenna, teammate and friend, just before we took off for Australia.
Teammates, Shawn and his son, Darian.

Thirteen Pictures

We're here in Memphis briefly, saying goodbye (for a while) to friends like Kari Nieman:

Some of our first friends in Austin that we met in June. We will remember Sami and Abby in prayer:

Another wonderful friend and encouragement in our faith, Jason. Friends since 1993:

Our life for the past few months has been a trip. Thankfully, we always packed light. ;-)

Ella's a triune citizen: of U.S.A., Australia, and Heaven:

Our mission coach, Amos Allen, and his wife, Anne, a mentor:

Shipping our belongings and attachments and accoutrements to Australia, with Ella showing the actual size during tummy time:

Ms. Toni teaching Ella who made the fish:

Mark and Cindy Oswald are some of our most righteous supporters. Mark let me join him in home remodeling work while we lived in Austin. The work he gave me let us "live a little" and also let me see how to work like a Christian. And Cindy demonstrates how to be nice. ;-) Cindy grew up in the same small town in Oklahoma that my dad did, Velma Alma:

Wonderful friends of ours, Ken, Patty, and Alex Kohl! We knew they liked us because they've always given us a hard time. As you can see, Ella punched Alex in the face. He's fine now, though. I think Ella's shaping up to be my million dollar baby (that is, a boxing success):

Our wonderful teammates and friends! The Griffiths are still awaiting their permanent residents visa, so they can't come to Australia yet, but we and the Mullinses are flying on tomorrow. We'll stay in touch through e-mail and video conferencing and of course we will gather 'round the throne together in prayer:

Aunt Missy makes Ella comfortable:

Baby Ella shows Grammy and Papaw how to play UNO:

Flying with Ella