Without a Camera

Dear God,

Thank you for, in all your power and wisdom, allowing me to leave my digital video camera on the train Saturday.

Actually, I was depressed Saturday night because I just felt so small and worthless. But Sunday was a new day and I began learning to be thankful. Thanks for Sunday. The self-absorbed depression turned more into humility and joy. I'm able to laugh at myself and because of the irony of winning something through losing.

And thank you for letting me be absent-minded for that brief second on the train. I don't blame you for not reminding me or intervening. I don't blame you as if you intervened to make me forget the camera. I'm just saying I attribute the good that came out of it to you and your generosity.

I'm thankful because several times in the last few days I wanted to take some video of Ella being amazing. I said to myself, "Oh, I can't take a video. I'll have to just watch her and be with her now." I paid extra close attention to her and tried to memorize her movements and faces and sounds. I felt especially connected to her and her dad.

I'm thankful because I experienced Nicole's forgiveness. You know how she responded to my absent-mindedness. The weight of losing such a valuable record of important moments in our lives and the technological ability to record many more memories all makes the depth of her forgiveness more encouraging.

I'm thankful because I also realize the blessing it is to record image and video of people and things. It seems to say, The person herein pictured is important and significant in this very moment and should be remembered. I'm thankful that I've been able to take so much video and so many pictures of Ella and Nicole and other people we love and scenes of God's creation we care about.

What a blessing, God, to have a camera and not to have a camera! You certainly do send both rain and sunshine to the just and the unjust. Whether I'm at my best or worst, you're patient and eager enough to wait for me to become a blessing.

And thank you for the Mullinses' camera and generosity so we could have afternoon tea with them and have Ella's nine-month old picture taken.

Please let us have the camera again if that's your will.

Let all my life be all yours. Amen.